there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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