Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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