After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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