And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
