I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
