Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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