i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
