her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
