Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
