That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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