I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
