Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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