My liver just broke up with me...
im holly from the hills drunk
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
