So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
How does one acquire holy water?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
