i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
