If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
