I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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