I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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