Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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