woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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