Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
