I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
