smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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