I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
