Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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