We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
