The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize