Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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