this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
