Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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