I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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