oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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