The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
