i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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