..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
