My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
