i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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