My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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