Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
