that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
