You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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