Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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