what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
