shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
