i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
