They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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