You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
