We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
