My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
