She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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