I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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