so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
