There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
