i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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