Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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