Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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