She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
my poor anus
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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