We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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