You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
